i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
