If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
