dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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