hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's get the cat blown out
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
