You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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