i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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