dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This girl is more easily done than said...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he shaved USA in his pubs
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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