i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize