I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was born a porn star she said
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
