and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
