Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
