There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
