She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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