It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have aggressive nipples.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
