I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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