Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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