bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i think my cat just said my name.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
