We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
