Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it glows. i had to have it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
