i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
