that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
