I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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