you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
