idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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