i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
