honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
