Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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