if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
