who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
