well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
