Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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