I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
