I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
