it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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