Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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