if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
