They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
