Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
