i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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