She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
