I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
