Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
