you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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