You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
