i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
