theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I die, sorry about rent.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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