Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
