DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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