Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
