you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
